the eucharist

Dear Family and Friends,

The other day I was assisting as deacon at mass at a local parish. Before communion, I helped the priest divide the communion hosts between all of the vessels so we could give communion to the people. This can be a tricky procedure, because it’s always difficult to transfer the hosts with none falling out of your hands. But usually you just take your time, and there are no problems.

But this mass was different. As soon as we started moving the hosts, one fell to the floor. This is no small matter, since as Catholics we believe that a consecrated host is the body of Christ, as Jesus explained in the Last Supper. Father quickly stooped and picked it up. Then another host fell, and another. I picked up one that rolled behind father and put it back on the altar. “This is getting really hard!” Father said. I agreed. It wasn’t like we were being overhasty or disrespectful. It just seemed that the hosts wanted to roll away for some reason.

Anyway, communion afterwards went as normal. Mass ended, and everyone went there ways. I had to help at another mass, so I sat in the front of the Church to pray a little as I waited.

But I couldn’t really pray and I thought to myself, “I wonder if we found all the hosts. I better double-check.” So I went up and looked around behind the altar. No hosts. I was about to go back to the pew when a little flap of carpet caught my eye. It was a service panel for the microphone. I fidgeted with the handle and managed to pull it up. There, in the bottom of a small electrical box I saw something white covered with dust. I reached down and fished it out. It was a large piece broken from a big host, maybe 2 inches across.

I was kind of flabbergasted. When you find a host like this, there’s a very specific set of rules you’re supposed to follow out of respect for Our Lord. And first I decided to check with Father to see what he wanted to do.

Father raised his eyebrows a lot when I told him my story. As I held the host up for him to see, he raised his eyebrows even more. “That’s the kind of host that was used before I got to this parish,” he said.

It turns out that was over four years ago. The host had been there for at least four years, if not longer.  And it was definitely a consecrated host, because you don’t break the host until after the consecration.

No bugs or mice had gotten to it, miraculously.

It was like Jesus was jumping off the altar so that we’d know he was also trapped in the floor. Like he was saying, "Rescue me!" Wow.

Makes me grateful that he still wants to stay with us even after all he’s been through!

May God bless you, and come into your life,

Deacon Kevin

PS - Here are some photos of the kind of thing I'm doing a good bit of now - running weekend retreats for boys. We had one last weekend at a family's ranch in southern Indiana, and it was a blast. The boys played all kinds of sports, including some we've invented, and there was time for the sacraments and spiritual talks. I love these retreats, not only because I get to play capture the flag, but because you can touch how God works in the lives of these boys. In one of the pictures I'm giving Benediction ( a blessing with the Eucharist) to the boys. It makes me feel so little to be able to serve our great God in this way.

getting to know eachother

tug of war

team pyramids

playing the game of civil war

prayer before benediction

giving benediction

 

learning to preach

Dear Family and Friends,

 

This weekend I had the opportunity to preach all four masses at a local parish.

 

Phew! Four is a lot!

 

assisting at the 8am mass

But it sure was a learning experience. Preaching in large churches is no easy task – you have to speak slower and louder.

 

All in all, it made me understand a little what Jesus must have felt like after preaching that Sermon on the Mount of his – tired, but energized too!

 

Thankfully, there were donuts after each mass. That kept me going.

 

preaching at the noon mass

Happy feast of Blessed John Paul II. He was such a great gift to all of us. I’m hoping to take a group of fathers and their sons to his canonization (when he becomes a “Saint”) April 27^th next year. Can’t wait!

 

May God bless you,

Deacon Kevin

 

deacon for the pope... again?

Dear Family and Friends in Christ,

The other day an email caught my attention so much that I just about choked. It was one of the Pope's masters of ceremonies inviting me back to be deacon for Pope Francis again. Wow! What an honor!

the invitation

The only problem was that he was inviting me to be deacon for Pope Francis October 13th. I would have had to fly to Rome and back just for this. Worth it? In my book yes, especially since I had recently received a few airline vouchers that would have just about gotten me there for free.

But before replying immediately with one big "YES!" I double-checked with my Father Superior. You see, 12 years ago I took three vows - poverty, chastity, and obedience. Obedience means that everything I do has to have the blessing of father superior, not because he's better than others but because he represents God for me. That's not the easiest thing to live by, especially in this case. He recommended I just tell the Monsignor that I couldn't help this time and let it go.

The Monsignor who invited me is to the right of Pope Francis

I should have taken his advice right away, and if this were Saint Deacon Kevin McKenzie, I would have. But I didn't send that message for a few days, hoping against hope that he would change his mind, or that another Father would see things otherwise… Until one evening I finally realized that God was really just asking me to let this one go and trust. I felt a wave of peace flow over me as I pressed "send" and saw my reply message disappear.

What was my surprise when a few days later I received another message from Monsignor. In it he asked me to let him know when I get back to Rome so he can propose another date.

I guess this obedience stuff isn't so bad after all, huh? God seems to bless obedience. Even Jesus was obedient. Of course in my case, I've usually fought tooth and nail the whole way through, but once I call "uncle!" and give up, he sends his blessings in abundance.

The ways of God are amazing. I don't know if I'll get to be deacon for the Pope again in the end, we'll see. But I sure am grateful to have been taught this life-lesson.

May God bless you all!
Deacon Kevin

www.cblstones.com

PS - It's exactly 2 months to the day I'll be ordained a priest along with 30 of my classmates. Please say a prayer for us - it's hard to believe it's so close!

Deacon Stoles!

Dear Family and Friends,

One of the hardest parts about being a deacon is finding the right things to wear at mass! Especially the “stole”, a long band of cloth that both priests and deacons wear. Deacons wear it diagonally, but priests wear it draped around the neck. There are always plenty of priests’ stoles lying around in sacristies and churches, but deacons’ stoles are few and far between. Most of the time I just carry a safety pin with me and jerry-rig a deacon stole out of a priest stole.
 

Deacon Stoles!

Which is what totally surprised me when I was cleaning out the basement of our house in Cincinnati the other day. I found seven stoles tucked away on a hanger. Seven deacon stoles! Wow! Jackpot!
 

After Mass with one of the stoles

 

Shortly before leaving Rome, I remember reminding myself, “get some deacon stoles, get some deacon stoles while you can” but I never had the chance. Fast forward a little, and here, in the very place where I was sent, was one of the biggest collections of deacon stoles I’ve found! Red, green purple, white, gold…. You name it. It’s like God was saying, “stop worrying, I’m in charge here!” No more safety pins for me!

 

Our Cincinnati Community - Deacon Me, Father Timothy, Father Matthew, Father John, and Father Daniel

 

Some of the stoles appear in the pictures. One of the pictures is of the four priests I live with here in Cincinnati, Fathers Timothy, Matthew, John, and Daniel. There’s also a picture with the altar servers after mass at Royalmont Academy. One of the pictures is of a group of 90 Dads and sons at our recent Father-Son Campout at Camp River Ridge.

 

 

 

 

With the servers at Royalmont Academy after Mass

 

At the Father-Son Campout

It’s now about 3 months away from my ordination as a priest December 14^th. It’s good to have something to wear in the meantime. You will be in my prayers this weekend!

God bless you,
Deacon Kevin

www.cblstones.com



more on mass with Pope Francis

Dear Family and Friends,



Directly behind Pope Francis setting his chalice on the altar - it was quite heavy!

I got some more photos from the mass with Pope Francis, and wanted to pass them along. I’ve already told you about meeting him before mass on the 7th, but I’d wanted to tell you about Pope Francis during the mass itself.

I'm the center one of the three deacons in dark green slightly behind and to the left

Like I’d said, before Mass Francis was all joyful and talkative and smiling at everybody. But once the mass started, it was like he became a different man. As we processed in, people were hanging over the rails trying to get a picture or touch the him. But Francis didn’t wave or walk around greeting people like he does out in the square at audiences. He walked straight down the aisle. And once he started the mass, his voice dropped and became quiet, almost “dreamy” I’d say. He spent the rest of the mass like that. When he met you before mass, he looked you right in the eye, but during mass, he was focused on something else. It was as if before when he met you, you were everything for him, but during mass someone else was everything for him, and you were just looking on.

Heaven on earth - kneeling before Peter's tomb, the crucifix, the Eucharist held aloft by the Pope, and in the back the Holy Spirit window - I'm the one in dark green towards the bottom left

During the consecration, I got to do the incense. Six altar boys and I processed to the very middle of the basilica, to directly in front of Saint Peter’s tomb, where we knelt down. When Pope Francis said Jesus’ words: “This is my body… do this in memory of me”, he held up the Eucharist for a good while so that everyone could adore our Savior present in the bread and wine. From where I knelt, the vista was tremendous. I could feel the whole congregation of thousands behind and around me in prayer, everyone hushed in silence. Just a few steps down in front of me rested the bones of the prince of the Apostles, Saint Peter, the rock on which Jesus said he would build his Church. Next in my line of sight was the altar, with the golden crucifix on top. Behind the crucifix was the Holy Father, holding Jesus aloft. Directly behind him was Bernini’s alabaster window of the Holy Spirit, with wings outstretched, encompassing the whole scene. It was more than unearthing. In that moment, as I swung the incense-laden censer before our Lord present in the Eucharist, I realized a few things. First of all, we weren’t adoring the man in white, we were adoring the white host. The Pope is a really important person, we’d even call him Jesus’ vicar on earth, but he’s not God. In John chapter 6, Jesus told us he was the bread of life, and that whoever would eat this bread would live forever, and that this bread is his flesh for the life of the world. The host in the Holy Father’s hands was way more important than the Holy Father himself. We were kneeling because of God present there, not because of the man. Second, like never before I felt united with all of heaven and earth. All the angels and saints are present at every mass, but in Saint Peter’s, at that moment, swinging that censer, the intense reality of it all struck me like an avalanche. And that was the third thing. Each mass is a re-living of Jesus’ sacrifice on Calvary. Each mass makes his one sacrifice present again, and makes us present at Calvary. So this tremendous moment I was sharing was not something that would just pass and never come again and which I would just have to be nostalgic about in the future. No. It was, is, something I will live again and again, in every mass I attend, in every mass I assist at as deacon, in every mass I hope to celebrate in the future as a priest, no matter where or when. There is really just one mass. This is all hard to explain, but at every mass ever since that moment under the dome of Saint Peter’s I’ve felt truly present there, “one in spirit” with the Pope and all believers.

Another view during the consecration - I'm the one in green on the bottom right between the 7 altar boys

 Pope Francis only gave communion to us five deacons, and as he gave me communion, I tried to remember, “the important one is in the host”. And it wasn’t hard to remember, because as Francis laid the host on my tongue, he wasn’t looking at me, he was looking at the host, continuing his adoration of Jesus present in the Eucharist.

Receiving Communion

As we processed out, Francis seemed to open up and he greeted the people as he made his way down the aisle. He was his normal cheerful self again.

Reaching for Francis' Hand

I’m so grateful for the chance to have been able to be there and to witness firsthand how our Holy Father celebrates the most important moment of his day, the mass. He’s a great example for future priests, and for every one of us! Let’s all try to live this special moment like it should be lived. Just try it! – try to enter into your own prayerful recollection like our Holy Father does.

Kissing Francis' Hand
 

I just got back from Cheshire, Connecticut where I assisted as deacon at our professions ceremony. 11 young men took their first vows, and 3 took their perpetual vows. It was quite beautiful to be there in the same spot where I taught CCD for so many years and took my own vows 12 years ago, and to be able to meet so many old friends

Asking him for his blessing

Today is the 19^th anniversary of my going off to the seminary. What a leap of faith that was, especially for my parents! (as a twelve-year-old, I just assumed they’d be fine with it!) But I think God knew well why he was moving our hearts, and the experiences of every day just seem to reaffirm for me that I’m right where he wants me.

Enjoy the photos, and God bless you!
Deacon Kevin

www.cblstones.com

first time as deacon at my home parish

Dear Family and Friends,

Last week I had a wonderful visit with my family back in Missouri. The highlight for me was standing on the other side of the altar at the parish where I was baptized, received my first holy communion, and received my calling: Saint Mary Magdalen in Brentwood. Father Jack Siefert, the Pastor, graciously asked me to assist as deacon at mass and give the homily. It was quite overwhelming – this is the same place where I learned how to be an altar boy way back when (taught by Deacon Lee, who’s still there faithful as ever!). Lots has changed, but the same joyful welcoming spirit pervades the parish, and it’s still the perfect place to pray. After mass, Father Jack organized a brunch in the parish hall, and I got a chance to meet many old friends. It was a joyful Sunday for all of us.

I spent the rest of the time with my family, just visiting with my mom and dad and aunts and uncles and brothers and sisters and nieces and nephews. We had a blast! Here are some photos.

Being a deacon is as great as ever. It kind of feels like walking in Jesus’ shoes a little – your relations with everyone are changed. Yesterday I got a haircut and the stylist poured out the story of all her woes. Seemed to me a bit like Jesus meeting the Samaritan woman at the well. People really trust you, and it’s not because of you, it’s because you represent Someone else. It’s tough getting my head around that!

You all are in my prayers, enjoy the rest of this beautiful summer!

God bless,

Deacon Kevin

www.cblstones.com

my new assignment

hockey time

Dear Family and Friends,

I’ve spent the last two weeks holed up in my room, studying for the very last of my exams. It was an oral and written exam on the Sacrament of Reconciliation, and you have to pass it to hear confessions once you’re ordained a priest. They asked me every question in the book, but thankfully the study paid off, and now I am exam-free. Hallelujah! I felt like running off into the sunset afterwards, but instead went to play ice hockey with some old friends. In the photo you see, from right to left, Brother David Barton, who I met on the soccer field in 1995 when he gave me a firm kick to the shin, thus igniting a long friendship. (I still have the bump on my shin!) Then there’s yours truly in gold, followed by Father Daren Weisbrod, who used to be the brother who watched over us back in High School Seminary. He still wields a pretty mean hockey stick, and has lost none of his humor and good cheer. On the far right is Father Jason Huynh. Father Jason and I joined the seminary together in 1994, so needless to say, we’ve been through a lot together. Let me just warn you, in a snowball fight, you don’t want to be against Father Jason!

Father Ronald, Deacon Zachary, Father Juan, Deacon Kevin, and Father Jason during mass at Sacred Heart Apostolic School

I’ve been spending most of my time in Cincinnati, Ohio, where I’ve been assigned for my first three years as a deacon and priest. I’ll be helping out with youth work in the area and at a Catholic school here, Royalmont Academy. I remember back in 2004 when I first came here as a brother and walked into Royalmont, just being overwhelmed by the special something that you breathed there. The students and teachers and parents radiated a joy and peace that made me want to keep coming back. So I’m happy to return, and help in any way I can, first as a deacon, and later as a priest. Back in 2004-2007 I also helped direct weekend retreats for boys at Camp River Ridge near Cincinnati. Each retreat was a combination of sports, crazy competitions, prayer, great food, and fellowship, all of which I thoroughly enjoyed. Being in Rome was awesome, but many times when I was poring over those theology books, I’d get a hankering for a good old game of capture the flag or some of Mrs. Weisbrod’s (She and her husband, Tom, graciously host the retreats) biscuits and gravy. So I’m sure you get the picture: it’s great to be back!!!! I had thought this was the only place they wouldn’t send me, since I had been here before, and so it was a total surprise when I received the assignment. Surprised and overjoyed, those are the two words that describe it best. And grateful to God for bringing me back.

Giving homily August 1st to Mission Corps Missionaries

This afternoon I head over to Saint Louis, Missouri to visit my folks and assist as deacon for the first time at my home parish, Saint Mary Magdalen in Brentwood. Over the years I received all of the greatest gifts of my life there, starting with baptism, then my first holy communion, and my call to be a priest. (not to mention the time I won the cake walk and got to eat a whole cake!) My heart is full of gratitude to God for his guiding hand and protection on this journey, and I pray that he’ll guide me safe and sound to ordination as a priest in December, so I can come back home and celebrate mass in the place where it all started.

Please say a prayer I have a safe drive over, and know that you are in my prayers these days. When I pray the Liturgy of the Hours, there’s a moment for intercessions, and I always toss in a “For everybody who reads those cobblestones message too!”. I was thinking about whether I should change the name “cobblestones” since I’m not in Rome any more, but a friend told me that downtown Cincinnati has some cobblestone streets too, so it will do for the mean time.

Take care and God bless you!

Deacon Kevin

www.cblstones.com